Wednesday, March 27, 2013

English Isn't Easy Part II

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

Kathy Stemke's websites: Helium Education Articles: http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html Education Articles: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/kathystemke Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6147172660&topic=4910#!/kathymarescomatthews.stemke?ref=profile Follow me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/kathy-stemke/13/269/285

Monday, March 25, 2013

English Isn't Easy Part I

Welcome to my series on English Isn't Easy.  I can't take credit for these words of wisdom. a writer friend of mine, Nancy Lepri sent it in an email. I thought I'd pass it on to you in parts. Enjoy!


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Kathy Stemke's websites: Helium Education Articles: http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html Education Articles: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/kathystemke Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6147172660&topic=4910#!/kathymarescomatthews.stemke?ref=profile Follow me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/kathy-stemke/13/269/285

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

30 Blogs with the Best Baby Shower Favors

Silver award winning book, "Sh Sh Sh Let the Baby Sleep" is an excellent gift for a baby shower. The new baby will love the colorful illustrtations and an older sibling will relate to the story. Zachary is not sure he likes his new baby sister because she's getting all the attention. He learns as he protects her and keeps her asleep that he loves her. Find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and many other stores. 
With the advent of the Internet and the rise in popularity of blogging, there’s now an entire corner of the web dedicated to providing hints, tips and ideas for planning great parties, entertaining friends and family, and celebrating special occasions. From professional party planners to those who simply have a gift for organizing festive events, bloggers from all over the world come together in the blogosphere to share their party planning knowledge. These 30 blogs offer great ideas for shower and party favors, which can easily be adapted to a baby shower theme with a bit of ingenuity and imagination.
 
 
 
Wooden Shower Favors
Depending upon the theme of the baby shower you’re planning, you may find that wooden favors best compliment the established d├ęcor. These five blogs offer whimsical and memorable shower favors that are simple to modify and customize so that they blend seamlessly with the rest of your festive decorations.
Glassware Baby Shower Favors
There’s something about glass that lends an air of sophistication and understated glamour to any celebratory event, and baby showers are no exception. Whether they’re discussing the popularity of a particular style of glass favor as the sole subject of their post, or are simply tucking different glassware favors into the body of a post filled with other shower planning ideas and tips, these five bloggers provide some valuable insights regarding baby shower favors made of glass.
For the rest of this article: http://www.newborncare.com/blog/30-blogs-with-the-best-baby-shower-favors/

Kathy Stemke's websites: Helium Education Articles: http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html Education Articles: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/kathystemke Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6147172660&topic=4910#!/kathymarescomatthews.stemke?ref=profile Follow me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/kathy-stemke/13/269/285

Friday, October 19, 2012

30 of the Best Blogs for New Moms


Becoming a mom for the first time is one of the most exciting experiences you’ll ever have. It can also be one of the most confusing, especially if you have no family or friends with parenting experience nearby. Thankfully, the global village created by the Internet and supported by the vast network of mommy bloggers does offer a significant amount of information and food for thought for new moms. These thirty blog entries cover a variety of parenting topics, both controversial and widely accepted, from feeding to sleep training and vaccinations.

Nursery Safety

When you bring your brand new bundle of joy home, her nursery will be her sanctuary. Unfortunately, that nursery can be filled with dangers that new parents may not be aware of. In the interest of ensuring that your baby’s room is the safe, peaceful place it’s intended to be, check out what these five bloggers have to say on the subject of infant nursery safety.


Safe Sleeping

Since the “Back to Sleep” campaign began in 1994 to promote safe sleeping positions for infants under one year of age, infant mortality rates related to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome have been steadily dropping. These five blogs take on the scary subject of SIDS, and explain proper sleep safety techniques to new mommies, and provide warnings regarding the importance of relying upon a pediatrician’s advice over that published by bloggers that are not medical professionals.


Feeding

The World Health Organization strongly recommends that all infants be breastfed for at least the first year of life, with the majority of healthcare experts in agreement. While breast milk does provide your baby with the most complete and health-promoting nutrition, the choice to breastfeed or bottle feed is ultimately up to you. The information provided in these five blog entries can help you determine which option is best for you, and provide you with concrete information about the pros and cons of each.


For the rest of this informative article click here: http://www.newborncare.com/blog/30-of-the-best-blogs-for-new-moms/


Kathy Stemke's websites: Helium Education Articles: http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html Education Articles: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/kathystemke Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6147172660&topic=4910#!/kathymarescomatthews.stemke?ref=profile Follow me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/kathy-stemke/13/269/285

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Sh Sh Sh Let the Baby Sleep is a finalist in the 2012 Literary Classics Awards!!



I'm thrilled to announce that "Sh Sh Sh Let the Baby Sleep" is a finalist in the 2012 Literary Classics Book awards. The winners will be announced on October 15th.To see the complete list of finalists for picture books and young adult books click here.here

Kathy Stemke's websites:Kathy Stemke's websites: Helium Education Articles: http://www.helium.com/users/406242.html Education Articles: http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/237923/Kathy_stemke_dancekam.html Follow me on twitter: http://twitter.com/kathystemke Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=6147172660&topic=4910#!/kathymarescomatthews.stemke?ref=profile Follow me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/kathy-stemke/13/269/285